


Our Baby

by justinetime



Series: Liam Centric Prompt Fills [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Songfic, Stillbirth, kind of, then it gets sad, why did I write this, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2018-01-01 11:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justinetime/pseuds/justinetime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were happy, ready to start a wonderful life as a family. Sometimes though, life has other plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for this Prompt: A Ziam where Liam is pregnant with Zayn's child but has a miscarriage.
> 
> Warning: The loss of a baby, and you may or may not cry your eyes out.
> 
> Note: It's more of a stillbirth. Also, this is not beta'd, mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own none of the lyrics used in this, the ending paragraph is also from a song.

_... &..._

_I did not know you_

_But you made me laugh so much_

_With the sneaky little hits_

_That you gave behind my bellybutton_

"Zayn, hurry!" Liam smiled, his eyes crinkled and grabbed his husband's hand, putting it on his belly. "She's kicking! Can you feel it?" He asked the dark haired man, while biting his lip. "Yes, yes I can!" Zayn exclaimed. "She's in there. Our little girl! Our baby."

 

Liam and Zayn had been happily married for a year when the news dropped: Liam was pregnant. He was born with the ability to have children and they were happy soon to be parents.

At firs, they had wanted to keep the baby's gender a secret but excitement at having their fist child and wanting everything to be perfect got ahead of them and they scheduled the appointment as early as they could. They were going to be the daddies of a healthy baby girl they would name Lea.

 

_Without knowing you,_

_I loved you so much, already_

_I had all through my soul_

_This want to take care of you_

"I think she'll look like you. She'll have your clear hazel irises and defined cheek bones and long lashes that'll make the guys marvel at her beauty." Liam said, rubbing his ever growing belly. "Or the girls." Zayn corrected. "Or the girls." "I think she'll look like you though. You're her mommy. She'll have your deep brown eyes and your full lips and a pout I'll never be able to resist!" Zayn said, tickling Liam. "Stop!" He laughed. "She'll look like both of us or like either, I don't mind. It's not important, you know?" Zayn nodded in agreement, "We'll love her either way."

Liam was at the beginning of his 8th month. The two men were impatient to welcome their little girl in their world, to create a home and build their family.

"I have a surprise for you, Li." Zayn said, pulling Liam up from the couch. "It'd better be a nice one because I can barely walk, you twat." Zayn just chuckled. "I'm your twat."

He opened the patio door and led Liam into their garden. "You planted a tree?" Liam asked, skeptical. "Yes! It's a cherry tree. It symbolizes beauty and purity, what I hope - know our daughter will be. Beautiful and pure, just like you. Plus the flowers will be pretty too. I thought they could, you know grow together? It's a symbolic thing."

Liam smiled and hugged his husband. "I love it. She does too. Thank you, love."

_Why won't Lea's little feet_

_Ever make their first steps,_

_Why won't her little feet ever grow?_

"ZAYN!" "I got it! Let's go!" They wasted no time, running or more Zayn carrying a suffering and heavy Liam to the car. "Z, something's wrong!"

"We need help! He's giving birth but something's not right with the baby! Help us, please!!"

Nurses rushed to their aid, pulling Liam down in a wheelchair and proceeding to book an operation room. "Don't worry, sir. It's your husband's first time giving birth, his body is reacting to the baby leaving it. It'll be fine." The nurse reassured him, but he now that he thought back on it, he'd been a fool to believe her, to not force them to let them go with him.

_Little tremor in the universe_

_As if life had changed her mind_

_In a gust of wind, of dust_

_Happiness disappeared_

They'd let Zayn in, assuring him things were alright now. They hadn't knocked Liam out completely, he begged them not to, he wanted to hear his little girl crying as she took her first breath. His mind was fuzzy, his thoughts unfocused except one, Lea. She didn't cry. She never did.

_I would've gave everything_

_For you to grow in my arms_

_Bad luck chose us_

_So, that's what misfortune was…_

"Why isn't she crying?" Zayn asked. He knew the answer, he knew it but he didn't want to believe it, no. Not them, not Lea. Not now, not ever. No. "Why isn't she crying? Why?! Why?! answer me!"

The doctor turned to him and shook his head, as a nurse took the little bundle away to clean it. Zayn couldn't see anything, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't move, he could only yell, scream at them to give him his baby, Liam's. Theirs.

_Why won't Lea's little feet_

_Ever make their first steps,_

_Why won't her little feet ever grow?_

"Liam, she's-" "I know. I know. I'm sorry Zayn." Liam whispered, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he closed his eyes. "It's not your fault Liam." Zayn said, shutting his eyes, trying to keep himself strong, at least now for his love. "It's my fault! I should have protected her! I'm her mum. I was her mum." The nurse came in, the baby's unmoving body wrapped tightly in a white blanket. "One hour." She said, sympathetically.

_Lying in my arms_

_A small being so light_

_But so, so heavy_

_In my mother heart._

"She has your cheek bones." Liam murmured. "And your lashes. And she has full rosy lips, like me." he added, voice trembling. "I wish I could see her eyes. I bet they're like yours. Would've been... a striking and bright hazel full of life." It was a pain to have to let the nurse take the baby from them. She was perfect. The perfect mix of her fathers and it was hard for them to let that perfection go, even if they had to. Perfection doesn't exist they say. Yet, when you achieve it, it's like you'll never be able to, ever again. And everything seems so dull in comparison.

_No trace of little fingers,_

_Waves or blown kisses_

_At the window for your dad_

_When he leaves for work_

"One more hour please. I just want some more time with her. I'll never get that again, I'm begging you." His voice was broken, he had to speak though. He had to sing to her. At least once.

 

It was hard to go back to their life afterwards. To see the cherry tree in the garden, to walk into the white and pink nursery, to receive gift cards and magazines from baby accessory stores without breaking down completely. For Liam not to feel guilty when he'd see the c-section scar that was still brightly pink against his skin and for Zayn, to see his husband fall apart thinking it was his fault their daughter was gone.

_And it breaks his heart_

_To watch the blooming tree_

_He had planted thinking_

_He'd see you grow together_

It's difficult to know her little feet won't ever walk, to know she'll never grow, that she'll never say he first word, lose a tooth, go to daycare, school, get a boyfriend, an education,get married have her own children. It's hard to let go of all the plans they had made for them, for her in the span of these 8 months spent with her, of all the memories they had looked forward to create.

_Why won't Lea's little feet_

_Ever make their first steps,_

_Why won't her little feet ever grow?_

Names. Her's was Lea. When you lose your parents, you're an orphan. If you lose your husband, you are a widow. When you lose your youth, you become old. There is no word, no name, there is nothing for the parent who loses their child

_God, please tell me why_

_I will have only sang to her once_

_"Goodnight my dear treasure, close your eyes and sleep."_


End file.
